By Contributing Editor
Alexandra Marraccini
(A Young Academic’s Manifesto For Avoiding A Lifetime Of Neutral Cardigans And Other Aesthetic Atrocities)
Some little girls want to be ballerinas or astronauts. I want to be a Medieval Social Historian. That’s right a proud fusty antiquarian, a professor, a geek par excellence! But that doesn’t mean I’m cutting tulle or rocket scientist accessories out of my wardrobe. I’ve been given a lot of advice about what I’m going to have to wear to be taken seriously in the field and in academia in general. Here’s how I’m going to cope, and how I hope the new generation of female academe rocks the Neo-Gothic reading room scene:
1. Oversized plastic glasses are sexy. Yes, I have been told time and again, professionalism is important in the lecture hall and conference room, but it’s really hard to find a pair of unprofessional glasses. I work with manuscripts, and probably will work with manuscripts for the next fifty years. I thus have invested in a pair of really cool glasses. You know, like Enid’s, from Ghost World. If you are not a medievalist sort of nerd, and also invest in basics like velociraptor shirts from Salvation Army, you may be able to get away with the techy, titanium square version of such glasses. If you work in literary theory, they should be black, like the rest of your clothes.
2. Colours, like secondary sources written after 1997, are now acceptable. Tan looks bad on me. It probably looks bad on you too (pace Rodarte models). If I’m going to spend the next twenty years of my life wearing cardigans so as to look older than the undergraduates I will someday teach, they had better be cardigans from Anthropologie. Preferably with birds on them.
3. It’s time for the hoodie revolution. Hoods have been on hoodlums (of necessity), runways, and banned from the backs of British teenagers as of late. Agyness Deyn looks great in a hoodie. If it’s made out of a luxe enough fabric, and well-tailored enough so as not to appear pajama-like, I want to be able to give a lecture in it. Let’s start this revolution before I get through graduate school, please.
4. Forget about the dewy look. You know the cover models for Vogue this month? The ones that radiate virtually identical dewy freshness with nude/sheen lips and refined eyes? You’re never going to look like that after fourteen hours in the archives. Give up. I personally have decided to embrace the pseudo-grunge and pretend the dark circles under my eyes are really the latest kohl look from Sephora. The mocha remnant on your lips can also pass for lipstain if you’re lucky.
5. Don’t waste money on very small bags. You can’t fit books in them. Manuscript libraries give you a clear plastic bag for your nubby pencils, so forget about showing a tote or clutch off there. Finally, those canvas bags you get from academic presses or conferences are much more classy, and have the added incentive of making your colleagues jealous of your Vast And Inimitable Experience In The Field. English profs sport MLA totes, but next spring I’m going for the big kahuna—the MAA (Medieval Academy of America) canvas tote bag. Even with conference registration fees, it’s cheaper than Marc—and carries a lot more heavy scholarly monographs.
6. Nothing is hotter than a good research paper. Ever. Given a choice between Louboutin stilettos and perfectly formatted footnotes, choose the footnotes, even if it kills you. Personally, a few feet in the stilettos would probably kill me. If you take my view and go Bauhaus, try a pair of Clark’s—functional, cute, and walkable even in the tight stairwells of stacks. Don’t be a 2008 Prada model when you just want to get a reference book! Remember, if you break your ankles, the painkillers will make it harder to write your dissertation.
Editor's Note:
Alexandra Marraccini is a fashion and academic enthusiast who conducts her history study at Yale University. I always enjoy my intellectual fashion conversation with her during all my visits to Yale.
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