How Soon Is Too Soon

By Contributing Editor
Julia G

Some say that in order to get over a lost love, one needs half the time the actual relationship lasted. Others believe that nothing mends a broken heart like an instant rebound (or five). However, everyone deals with loss differently, and the amount of time necessary to heal after a breakup completely depends on the individual. There is no “acceptable” time frame, although the opinion of those around us may influence us to feel differently in these sensitive circumstances.

One may feel wrong to start a new relationship quickly after a breakup, especially since society tends to judge such a decision rather negatively. Having come across this situation myself recently, I began to wonder what is considered to be the “appropriate” way to conduct myself.

After ending a six month relationship, I accidentally found a guy with the exact qualities I have been searching for in a boyfriend from the moment I started dating, and the lack of which led to the dissolution of my previous relationship. Although it had been less than a month, I was positive that I had no feelings left for my ex and was ready to move on. Inevitably, my head was filled with nagging questions: What would my friends say if I started dating a new guy already?
Would he feel like a rebound? What would my ex-boyfriend think when he found out? However, after long hours of thinking, I concluded that this decision is solely mine to make, and while listening to the opinion of those I love may be helpful, this is still my life to live.

We create our own happiness and we are the only ones responsible for it. So instead of waiting for “enough time” to pass or some sort of go-ahead sign from friends, I let myself dive right into a new relationship and it was truly the best decision I could have made. Not once have I felt guilt or regret – I did what was right for me, and am the happiest I have felt in a while. Therefore, the moral of the story is that when it comes to seeing someone new after going through a breakup, you are the only one who can decide when the time is right. Personally, I do not believe in starting a new serious relationship in order to forget about the ex, this usually just leads to more confusion and hurt feelings, and not only your own. But if you do happen to stumble upon Prince Charming after parting ways with a frog, then please do yourself a favor – disregard everyone else’s opinions let your inner princess get swept off her feet.

Photo courtesy of NYSH
Models:

Evan R
Jody C
Alex W

Photographer:
Daniel O