*My Folding Table in the Old Apartment (covered in table cloth)*
*My New Desk*
Almost a year has passed. A lot of things have progressed, though at glacier pace I felt. This time I want to make New York Sweet Heart more personal and engaging to my daily life. Besides, what is fashion if it is not part of your daily life right?
Our emotions (and their wide, wide spectrum for a complex person like me) control our moods, hence our attire selection. Hence I decided to put the story of our life first before fashion. I think it what makes fashion meaningful. After all, fashion to me is more than just a way to express oneself. At the same time, it is simply a mean to justify the end.
I love my new condo, it almost as if it gives me a second chance at life (in New York City that is). I left the traditional classic approach in the interior design from my old pre-war apartment and embrace the modern contemporary style. Likewise, in personal life I abandoned most of my old ways and embark on a new journey with up to date perspective.
Initially, not everything in my condo is newly purchased. In fact, I kept my folding table from the last apartment and just put a tablecloth over it. Nevertheless my mother objected to the idea and replaced it with a brand new, real desk, with minimalist touch to go with the rest of the condo. I mean, I supposed it is logical. It would be kind of odd to have that one out of place elephant in the room. Once the new desk settled in, everything went smoother both to the eyes and the mind.
If only replacing a loved one is just as easy. My best friend Kiran* told me that maybe some people are best kept as a good memory. Life as we know it is constantly changing. At some point in our life maybe that certain someone served its purpose, but as we continued to the next chapter in our life naturally we may lose common ground-and/or separated by transatlantic flight on top of that-. I solemnly believe that our attachment often gets the best of us. Why did I hold on to that home depot folding table for so long? What was I thinking? But I did. I let my attachment and fear of inability to obtain a new table held me back. I gave permission to myself to settle for this outdated faux table to be part of my daily life no matter how incompatible, and unreliable it is. It was something that was so clear to everyone else but me.
Since I listened to my mother and satisfied with the new desk, I will listen to Kiran as well. Just like how we need a new, real, solid wood desk to support our computer, books, lamp, etc- we deserved to have someone better. Precisely, someone who is stable, reliable, available, and willing to support you and your life weights the same way you are to him/ her. My new desk is not perfect. It is not imported from Italy, nor it is delivered from posh artisan gallery in SoHo. However it is simple, strong built, serves its purpose, and the most dashing desk that I’ve had.
Without learning how to let go, I would never have that desk sitting in my living area. Possibly and hopefully, the same concept will apply in my personal life as well.
